[02/02/04 - 12:00 AM]
Supersize Episodes Highlight NBC February Sweeps Schedule
By The Futon Critic Staff (TFC)

CHICAGO (thefutoncritic.com) -- Supersize episodes and special guest stars are two of the tactics NBC will use to lure viewers during February sweeps.

Here's a complete breakdown of what to expect during the key ratings period. (Please note that the following episode descriptions may contain spoilers for future storylines.)

NBC frontloads February sweeps with supersized episodes of favorite "Must See TV" such as "Friends," "Will & Grace" and "Scrubs" -- plus the season finale of "Ed" on February 6 as well as such marquee stars as Michael J. Fox, Paris Hilton, Snoop Dogg, Danny DeVito, Nick Lachey, John Cleese and Brendan Fraser.

In addition, from February 5-March 3, viewers can sample additional guest stars such as Donny Osmond, Tara Reid, Minnie Driver, Patrick Swayze, Tracey Ullman, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Hopper, Thandie Newton, Chris Isaak, Dave Foley, Jay Mohr, Jon Lovitz, Bizmarkie, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Paul Michael Glaser, Jane Seymour, Marlo Thomas, Christa Miller, Suzanne Pleshette, Susan Dey, CCH Pounder, Julie Hagerty, Dakota Fanning, Eileen Brennan, Wendie Malick, Laurie Metcalf and Alison Sweeney and Farah Fath (from NBC's "Days Of Our Lives)," among others.

A summary of primetime series sweeps highlights follows:



FRIENDS � (8-8:45 p.m. ET)
"The One Where the Stripper Cries"
JOEY IS STUMPED ON THE 'PYRAMID' WHILE DANNY DEVITO ARRIVES AS PHOEBE'S 'ENTERTAINMENT'; DONNY OSMOND ALSO GUEST-STARS -- Joey (Matt LeBlanc) appears as a celebrity contestant on "The $100,000 Pyramid" featuring the game show's actual host Donny Osmond (as himself) -- but Joey's shaky IQ factors in and costs his partner prize money while Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) hire an unseen and ungainly stripper (guest star Danny DeVito, "Taxi") for Phoebe's (Lisa Kudrow) bachelorette party. Meanwhile, Chandler (Matthew Perry) and Ross (David Schwimmer) attend a college reunion and meet an attractive woman (guest star Ellen Pompeo) whom each promised not to date back in 1991.

THE APPRENTICE � (8:45-10 p.m. ET)
"Episode #5"
TRADING PLACES -- Donald Trump summons the teams into the boardroom to make some drastic changes and also announces the newest task -- selling at a flea market. When it comes time for the losing project manager to pick someone, anger and hurt feelings envelope the suite. One candidate gives another questionable advice on how to handle Trump. Meanwhile, the fifth aspirant is fired.

ER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Get Carter"
DR. CARTER'S VISITING GIRLFRIEND MAKES EVENTFUL IMPACT IN ONE WILD SHIFT; THANDIE NEWTON GUEST-STARS -- Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle) makes the mistake of bringing his wide-eyed girlfriend Kem (guest star Thandie Newton, "Mission: Impossible 2") to observe the emergency room where she makes an impact -- wanted or not -- almost everywhere she wanders, ranging from an AIDS ward to the classroom and even in an unsanctioned ride-along with the paramedics. The complex Dr. Pratt (Mekhi Phifer) has a hard night and questions his abilities as he treats a variety of patients, including a young sledder who breaks his back in the snow and an elderly man with fluid in his lung. Meanwhile, Dr. Gallant (Sharif Atkins) accompanies the paramedics and is almost shot in a violent domestic dispute where he befriends a frightened boy, and Dr. Weaver (Laura Innes) dedicates a new center to Dr. Romano's memory that has everyone buzzing. Alex Kingston, Goran Visnjic, Maura Tierney, Sherry Stringfield, Parminder Nagra and Linda Cardellini also star.


ED � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"Happily Ever After"
WILL CAROL AND ED'S BIG WEDDING DAY BE A THREE-RING CIRCUS? -- When Carol (Julie Bowen) convinces Ed (Tom Cavanagh) that their wedding plans need to be more spectacular, they decide to have a circus-themed wedding. As Ed's parents arrive, he and Carol go their respective ways for a bachelorachelorette party, while earnest student Warren (Justin Long) decides to make an ambitious video for the ceremony � "The Ed Stevens and Carol Vessey Story." Meanwhile, Phil (Michael Ian Black) tries desperately to convince Ed to let him perform the wedding ceremony. Josh Randall, JanaMarie Hupp, Daryl Mitchell and Rachel Cronin also star.

THIRD WATCH � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Sleeping Dogs Lie"
KIM AND DOHERTY FORM NEW BOND JUST BEFORE HE DISAPPEARS IN INDUSTRIAL BLAZE -- As Kim (Kim Raver) and Doherty (Eddie Cibrian) re-cement their romantic relationship, she worries when Doherty is offered a promotion that requires him to work in a dangerous part of the city and is later trapped in a sweatshop inferno with a woman he had hoped to rescue. Meanwhile, Officer Monroe (Nia Long) butts heads with the intense Cruz (Tia Texada) when she tries to prevent the wrong man from confessing to a brutal murder -- an admission extracted under pressure by the defiant Cruz. Back at the station, Doc (Michael Beach) frets that a new captain (as Steeper, guest star Paul Michael Glaser) will close their station as he has repeatedly done before. Jason Wiles, Anthony Ruivivar, Coby Bell and Skipp Sudduth also star.


THE TRACY MORGAN SHOW � (8-8:30 p.m. ET)
"Miracle Street"
SNOOP DOGG & BIZMARKIE GUEST-STAR; DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? -- When Jimmy (Bobb'e J. Thompson) and Derek (Marc John Jefferies) beg their father to take them to the Snoop Dogg concert, Tracy (Tracy Morgan) vows to come through for his boys and find a way into the sold-out show. But when his trusted scam artist Freddie (Kat Williams) fails to come through, Tracy goes to the extreme -- passing off his boys as members of a group that grants wishes to seriously ill children to snag front-row seats. Hip-hop sensation Snoop Dogg appears as himself along with legendary R&B singer Bizmarkie in the episode. Heavy D, Tamala Jones and John Witherspoon also star.


FEAR FACTOR � (8-9 p.m. ET)
COUPLES 'CHICKEN IN' TO WIN -- In the sixth episode of a special seven-part couples contest, four twosomes remain as the stress of battle takes its toll on another pair. The cycle began with nine pairs of partners - three married, three engaged and three single -- squaring off to test their relationships by facing fear as a team and working together to capture an ultimate payoff of $1 million. One challenge that could change the contest puts a contestant into a coffin with 30 chicken feet -- only to then be covered in rats. Joe Rogan hosts the series.

LAS VEGAS � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"Die Fast, Die Furious"
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME GUEST STARS; LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACCIDENT OR MURDER? -- With the Montecito playing host to the production crew for the feature-film "Die Fast, Die Furious" staring Hollywood action star Jean-Claude Van Damme (as himself, "Timecop"), Ed (James Caan) maintains a watchful eye on the film's intense stunts. But when Van Damme soars to his death while attempting to perform the movie's key stunt -- a dangerous motorcycle jump - Ed and Danny (Josh Duhamel) search for an explanation for the accident. Meanwhile, a new rival casino host (guest star Ian Anthony Dale) attempts to square off with Sam (Vanessa Marcil) in a battle for the biggest whale and a mournful Delinda (Molly Sims) remembers her fallen, but not forgotten, 24-hour boyfriend. James Lesure, Marsha Thomason and Nikki Cox also star.

AVERAGE JOE: HAWAII � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Episode #6"
TURNABOUT IS FAIRPLAY WHEN A NEW BEAUTY PAYS A VISIT TO LARISSA'S ISLAND PARADISE -- Former "Baywatch" stars Michael Bergin and Brooke Burns ("Dog Eat Dog") make a surprise guest appearance at the 'jocks' vs 'joes' beach competition. With Brooke on the scene, Larissa is no longer the only beauty on the beach, which does not go unnoticed by the guys who suddenly have eyes for a new woman--or by Larissa who does not appreciate the unexpected competition. Later, an intimate moment between Larissa and an "average joe" is shattered in an explosive new twist.



WILL & GRACE � (8:40-9:20 p.m. ET)
"Ice Cream Balls"
THE C.E.O. WHO LOVED ME -- Love is in the air as Will's (Eric McCormack) slightly eccentric new client (guest star Dave Foley, "NewsRadio") falls for Jack (Sean Hayes) after he interrupts their meeting, but when Jack refuses to accept the romantic offer, Will sinks to bribing him in the hopes of furthering his career. Elsewhere, Grace (Debra Messing) and Karen (Megan Mullally) take a trip to Leo's cabin in Vermont in order to fix the plumbing -- and uncover a secret pile of cash in the master bed.

SCRUBS -- (9:20-10 p.m. ET)
"My Catalyst"
MICHAEL J. FOX GUEST-STARS AS VISITING SUPER DOC TO THE HOSPITAL WHILE J.D. RE-EVALUATES HIS MENTOR -- Dr. Casey (guest star Michael J. Fox) visits Sacred Heart as an accomplished surgeon despite being diagnosed with a severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Casey touches everyone at Sacred Heart in a special way during his visit, beating his old resident buddy Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) at his own game of wits, leaving Turk (Donald Faison) in the dust with his quick surgery time and by teaching J.D (Zach Braff) some lessons about learning to believe in himself. Meanwhile, Dr. Kelso (Ken Jenkins) strikes a deal with the Janitor (Neil Flynn) to take care of the hospital's garbage. Judy Reyes and Sarah Chalke also star.

THE MURDER OF A TEENAGED GIRL UNCOVERS TWO FAMILIES' SECRET; JANE SEYMOUR GUEST STARS -- When the body of a murdered 16-year-old girl is uncovered in the middle of a rape arrest, Detectives Stabler (Christopher Meloni) and Benson (Mariska Hargitay) trace the victim's final hours -- and discover that she was pregnant. However, when a DNA test reveals the teen's pregnancy to be the product of incest, the detectives attempt to sort through a maze of possible suspects in her own family as well as her boyfriend. Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman") guest stars as a well-off mother who watches has her family be torn apart by this scandal. Dann Florek, Richard Belzer, Ice-T and Diane Neal also star.


THE WEST WING � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"The Warfare of Genghis Khan"
NEW SECRET MEMBER OF NUCLEAR BOMB CLUB HAS BARTLET SEEKING ANSWERS -- AND TAKING ACTION; JAY MOHR GUEST STARS -- When the flash of a secret nuclear detonation is detected over the Indian Ocean, the President (Martin Sheen) scrambles his inner circle to investigate which nation now has weapons of mass destruction -- and since conventional thinking favors Iran, Bartlet orders bombers into the air to destroy that nation's most likely uranium-enriched targets. Elsewhere, Josh (Bradley Whitford) tongue-lashes NASA eggheads on the future of space exploration until he is introduced to the wonders of heavenly bodies by an attractive female administrator. In addition, C.J. (Allison Janney) fumes when a combative TV talk-show host denigrates her on the air. Joshua Malina, Gary Cole, John Spencer, Richard Schiff, Dule Hill and Janel Moloney also star.

LAW & ORDER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"City Hall"
CAN'T FIGHT CITY HALL -- When an armed gunman storms city hall, killing a city councilman and wounding a water inspector, Detectives Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) and Green (Jesse L. Martin) search through the politician's past in hopes of finding the escaped suspect. However, when they discover the target of the shooting was actually tied to the city's water inspector, the detectives sort through a laundry list of unhappy customers in search of the slayer. Sam Waterston, Elisabeth Rohm, Fred Thompson and S. Epatha Merkerson also star.



FRIENDS � (8-8:45 p.m. ET)
"The One with Phoebe's Wedding"
MONICA AS UPTIGHT WEDDING PLANNER DRIVES PHOEBE CRAZY ON HER BIG DAY IN SUPERSIZED MILESTONE EPISODE -- In a supersized milestone episode, Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) drives flighty Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) to the brink when she assumes the reins as her friend's wedding planner and makes everyone uptight -- until she's fired -- and Phoebe's big day soon spirals into a disaster as deliveries go awry and a blizzard forces changes. When Pheebs asks Joey (Matt LeBlanc) to step in for her incarcerated father and give her away, he takes his newfound role as daddy too seriously while Chandler (Matthew Perry) and Ross (David Schwimmer) lobby Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) to choose one of them as a last-minute replacement for a groomsman in what promises to be a most unorthodox wedding procession.

THE APPRENTICE � (8:45-10 p.m. ET)
"Episode #6"
TIT FOR TAT -- The business teams compete to raise money for charity in a celebrity auction at Sotheby's but while one project manager is too controlling, another candidate embarrasses her team by asking for outrageous items from the celebrities. Unexpectedly, a romance starts to blossom between two of the candidates.

ER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Impulse Control"
NURSE SAM CONFRONTED BY NEW LIFE AND SUDDEN DEATH; DR. CARTER ENTERTAINS GIRLFRIEND AS THANDIE NEWTON GUEST-STARS -- Life and death assume an even higher profile as single-mother Sam (Linda Cardellini) treats an abused and newly pregnant teen (guest star Rheagan Wallace) as well as a wife (guest star Marin Hinkle) who sees her injured family melt away after a car accident -- while Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle) takes a holiday to show Kem (guest star Thandie Newton, "Mission: Impossible 2") the wonders of a wintry Chicago. Elsewhere, a risk-assessment expert (guest star Richard Kline) is hired to observe the E.R. and is shocked at the abounding mayhem -- especially when Sam roughs up a patient's friend. Abby (Maura Tierney) and Dr. Pratt (Mekhi Phifer) restrain an undocumented man (guest star F.J. Rio) who wants to check out despite testing positive for tuberculosis while Sam is quizzed by her son Alex (guest star Oliver Davis) about her interest in Dr. Kovac (Goran Visnjic). Laura Innes, Sherry Stringfield, Sharif Atkins and Parminder Nagra also star.


THIRD WATCH � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Blessed and Bewildered"
FUMING BOSCO MIGHT FALL INTO MOBSTER'S SNARE -- An enraged Officer Bosco (Jason Wiles) renews his feud with a small-time gangster (guest star Nicholas Turturro) when the mobster toys with Bosco's mother -- but his anger only makes it easier for him to fall into his enemy's trap. Meanwhile the tough new fire chief tells Kim (Kim Raver) that he intends to exile her paramedics from the station house to the street. Doc (Michael Beach) is unusually upbeat when he throws a house party for his co-workers. Coby Bell, Nia Long, Anthony Ruivivar and Skipp Sudduth also star.


THE TRACY MORGAN SHOW � (8-8:30 p.m. ET)
THE MITCHELLS ENJOY THE GREAT OUTDOORS -- Prompted by Alicia's (Tamala Jones) desire for the family to take a much-needed vacation, Tracy (Tracy Morgan) decides to rent a cabin upstate in the woods and promises to teach Jimmy (Bobb'e J. Thompson) and Derek (Marc John Jefferies) about the wilderness. However, while the rest of the family enjoys the great outdoors, control-freak Tracy pines away for his garage. Katt Williams, John Witherspoon and Heavy D. also star.


SHREK � (7-9 p.m. ET)
NBC PRESENT THE NETWORK TELEVISION PREMIERE OF THE SUCCESSFUL ANIMATED TALE WITH NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE -- In a strange and colorful land populated by fairy tale characters, an ogre named Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) must go on a quest to rescue the fair princess Fiona (voiced by Cameron Diaz) from a dark tower -- guarded by a dragon -- so that she can live happily ever-after with the allegedly valiant Lord Farquaad (voiced by John Lithgow). Along for the adventure is Shrek's "noble steed" Donkey (voiced by Eddie Murphy), who battles alongside the ogre as he fights for the noblest of motives -- to rid his beloved swamp from unwanted storybook creatures in the hopes of living a happy and completely lonely existence. Making its network television debut, the animated tale will feature extra scenes deleted from the theatrical release as well as from the in-store DVD.

AMERICAN DREAMS � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"To Tell the Truth"
NICK LACHEY GUEST-STARS AS TOM JONES AND NEWCOMER CHARLOTTE MARTIN GUEST-STARS AS PETULA CLARK -- As Meg (Brittany Snow) continues to see Drew (guest star Sam Page) behind her parents' back, Patty (Sarah Ramos) discovers Roxanne (Vanessa Lengies) and Luke's (guest star Jamie Elman) secret. At the father/daughter UNICEF charity dance, Meg realizes that she can't continue to lie to her mom and dad. However, when she tells the truth about Drew, Jack's (Tom Verica) anger causes her to take drastic measures. Meanwhile, Henry (Jonathan Adams) has disturbing news for Jack regarding his new repair store, and in South Vietnam, JJ (Will Estes) encounters the enemy and strikes first. Nick Lachey (former lead singer of 98 Degrees) guest-stars as hip-swiveling Tom Jones singing, "It's Not Unusual," and Charlotte Martin (debut album to be released summer 2004 "On Your Shore") also guest-stars as Petula Clark singing "Downtown." Gail O'Grady, Rachel Boston, Ethan Dampf, Arlen Escarpeta also star.

"Pas de Deux"
DETECTIVES ARE SUSPICIOUS WHEN A NECK BOMB KILLS UNLIKELY BANK ROBBER -- When a solid citizen robs a bank and is killed by a bomb tied around his neck, Detectives Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) and Eames (Kathryn Erbe) suspect that the victim had an accomplice who triggered the device, and they soon hone in on the murderer's (guest star Charles Rocket) next unwitting associate -- a bored New Jersey hausfrau (guest star Enid Graham). The investigators piece together the pair's bank-heist patterns, but they have to establish probable cause if they are to save the woman from being the killer's next unsuspecting bomb victim. Jamey Sheridan and Courtney B. Vance also star.


FEAR FACTOR � (8-9 p.m. ET)
HARD-DRIVING FINALE CONCLUDES MILLION-DOLLAR, SEVEN-PART COUPLES CONTEST -- In the dramatic conclusion of a special seven-part couples contest, three pairs remain as tears are shed and hysteria grips the cast -- and only one couple will take home the $1 million-dollar prize. The heart-racing highlight puts a blindfolded driver, aided only by a navigating passenger, trying to overtake and pull up on the back platform of a speeding semi-truck. Joe Rogan hosts.

LAS VEGAS � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"New Orleans"
YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM BIG ED DELINE; DENNIS HOPPER GUEST STARS -- When a "whale" blows town while owing the Montecito almost $5 million, Big Ed (James Caan) has 36 hours to find the missing trust-fund baby and force him to make good on the debt. However, when the AWOL gambler turns up at the Montecito's sister resort in New Orleans, Danny (Josh Duhamel), Sam (Vanessa Marcil) and Ed hop a plane to "The Big easy" to track their fugitive player. Elsewhere, Mary (Nikki Cox) attempts to control an unruly clan of farmers in town to celebrate their family reunion and recent Powerball jackpot, while Mike (James Lesure) takes on the daunting task of coordinating the "World's Largest Wet T-shirt Contest." Dennis Hopper ("Speed") guest stars in the episode as the head of security of the Motecito's New Orleans resort. Marsha Thomason and Molly Sims also star.

AVERAGE JOE: HAWAII � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Episode #7"
THE REMAINING SUITORS FACE A TEST OF CHARACTER AS LARISSA GOES DEEP UNDERCOVER -- In the midst of romantic dates that include a sunset above the clouds atop the Mauna Kea volcano and a nighttime swim with manta rays, an epic twist sends shock waves through the big island. Larissa uses an elaborate disguise to reverse the "Average Joe" twist on the guys, and hidden camera footage provides a shocking revelation.


FEAR FACTOR � (8-9:20 p.m. ET)
FOUR THE GLORY -- In this special supersized episode, contestants stretch to their limits as two of the four stunts facing them are jumping between two platforms suspended more than 100 feet in the air and chewing on cow intestines. Joe Rogan hosts the series.

SCRUBS � (9:20-10 p.m. ET)
"My Porcelain God"
SPECIAL GUEST STAR MICHAEL J. FOX RETURNS AS DOCTOR KEVIN CASEY� When Elliot (Sarah Chalke) is perplexed over a simple procedure that leaves her questioning her career path, she seeks Dr. Kevin Casey's (guest star Michael J. Fox) advice but becomes frustrated when she learns that the "epiphany toilet" -- which the Janitor (Neil Flynn) secretly installed on the roof -- is getting more attention than she is. Meanwhile, Turk (Donald Faison) asks JD (Zach Braff) to be his best man at his wedding, which sends JD into sheer bliss until he hears a phone message that makes him question his friendship with Turk. Judy Reyes, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes and Ken Jenkins also star.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME; MARLO THOMAS & DIXIE CARTER GUEST STAR � When an upper Westside resident finds a young boy scavenging through his garbage looking for food, Detectives Stabler (Christopher Meloni) and Benson (Mariska Hargitay) track down the child's mother, believing him to be the victim of abuse. However, after the detectives interview the single mother, they discover she rules her home with a tight fist keeping a close watch on both her sons, sharing her paranoia over the dangers of the city with them. Dixie Carter ("Designing Women") also guest stars in the episode as Attorney Denise Brockmorton and Marlo Thomas ("That Girl") portrays a former judge gone into private practice who offers some sage advice. Dann Florek, Richard Belzer, Ice-T and Diane Neal also star.


THE WEST WING � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"An Khe"
BARTLET O.K.S ATTEMPTED RESCUE OF DOWNED PILOTS IN NORTH KOREA AS LEO RECALLS HIS NEAR-DEATH IN VIETNAM -- When five crew members of an airborne Thunderchief are shot down by North Korean jets over the Pacific, Bartlet (Martin Sheen) dispatches an elite Navy SEAL team to rescue them -- prompting Leo (John Spencer) to remember his own harrowing war experience when his plane was downed over North Vietnam. Leo's good friend and fellow flyer (guest star Jeffery DeMunn) saved his life and now is under fire for allegedly paying bribes to defense contractors to obtain military contracts. Meanwhile, C.J. (Allison Janney) accepts the challenge of dueling on live television with an opinionated and conservative talk show host (guest star Jay Mohr, NBC's "The Last Comic Standing"); Josh (Bradley Whitford) fumes when he briefs the President about a contested tax cut for stay-at-home mothers and is undercut by the brash young Ryan (guest star Jesse Bradford). Richard Schiff, Dule Hill, Janel Moloney, Stockard Channing, Joshua Malina and Lily Tomlin also star.

LAW & ORDER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Veteran's Day"
WAR -- WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? -- When a highly confrontational peace activist is found strangled to death, Detectives Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) and Green (Jesse L. Martin) investigate the homicide and discover that in his final hours, the victim was involved in several verbal disputes with police and a local armed forces veteran named Silva. However, when their investigation uncovers a previous confrontation between the victim and Silva, the detectives believe the homicide to be linked to the veteran's hatred over the victim's beliefs, which he felt were anti-American. Sam Waterston, Elisabeth Rohm, Fred Thompson and S. Epatha Merkerson also star.


FRIENDS � (8-8:30 p.m. ET)
"The One Where Joey Speaks French"
MONICA AND CHANDLER LEARN IDENTITY OF BIOLOGICAL FATHER; ANNA FARIS ('SCARY MOVIE 3') GUEST-STARS -- Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) show a visiting Erica (guest star Anna Faris, "Scary Movie 3") New York's sights but also learn more about her -- and that the baby's biological father might be a shovel killer -- while Ross (David Schwimmer) and Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) grow closer after her sarcastic father (guest star Ron Leibman, "Norma Rae") suffers a heart attack. Elsewhere, Joey (David Schwimmer) implores Francophile Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) to teach him French before an important audition but when he can't even put an accent on his gibberish, he has her begging for "Merci."

WILL & GRACE � (8:30-9:00 p.m. ET)
"Looking for Mr. Good Enough"
ONE IS THE LONELIEST BAKER; TRACEY ULLMAN, SUZANNE PLESHETTE AND DAVE FOLEY GUEST-STAR -- Will (Eric McCormack) decides to further his cooking skills by taking a class and invites Jack (Sean Hayes) to join him in the kitchen but when Jack decides to include his new boyfriend (guest star Dave Foley, "NewsRadio"), the gourmet attorney finds himself a sad single in a cooking class full of couples. Elsewhere, Karen's (Megan Mullally) mother Lois (guest star Suzanne Pleshette, "The Bob Newhart Show") returns to town, slightly unnerving her daughter and calling on Grace's (Debra Messing) thrifty design talents to help decorate her new apartment. Tracey Ullman ("Small Time Crooks") also guest-stars in the episode as the blatantly honest instructor of the cooking class. Shelley Morrison also stars.

THE APPRENTICE � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"Episode #7"
REAL REAL ESTATE, TRUMP STYLE -- The candidates are introduced to the world of New York City real estate when Donald Trump gives them the task of renovating and leasing apartments. When the project managers bicker over which apartment their respective team, will rent, one candidate has to make a difficult decision after learning of a family members illness.

ER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Blood Relations"
NEELA SUFFERS WITH POISONED NEWBORN WHEN BOTH ARE PLACED IN HYPERBARIC CHAMBER -- While Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle) pines over his separation from his pregnant girlfriend in Africa, a family of four is rushed to the E.R. after suffering carbon monoxide poisoning from their furnace -- forcing a claustrophobic Neela (Parminder Nagra) to accompany a newborn baby into an extremely uncomfortable hyperbaric chamber to save its life. Elsewhere, Dr. Lewis (Sherry Stringfield) is upbeat about her future with Chuck (Donal Logue) while Nurse Sam (Linda Cardellini) has reason to ponder her relationship with Dr. Kovac (Goran Visnjic). In addition, Lewis and Abby (Maura Tierney) treat a maniacal man (as Doe, Jerod Edington) who's rushed in covered in blood, while Dr. Weaver (Laura Innes) counsels a mother whose young son tests positive for leukemia. Amid the chaos, Dr. Chen (Ming-Na) returns from China with her sick father in tow. Alex Kingston, Sharif Atkins and Mekhi Phifer also star.


THIRD WATCH � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"No More: Forever"
FIREMAN IS SHOT AS ONE OF 55TH'S LIFE-SAVING PERSONNEL MAKES CO-WORKERS HOSTAGES -- The world of the 55th Precinct is changed forever when one of their own cannot withstand the pressure-cooker job anymore and takes a gun and holds fellow life-savers hostage -- and when one fireman is shot, police sharpshooters line up a killshot. Meanwhile, as Officer Yokas (Molly Price) returns to the job, ex-partner Bosco (Jason Wiles) is himself taken prisoner by Nardo (guest star Nicholas Turturro), a fugitive mobster who has kidnapped the cop's mother and has specific plans for his hated enemy Bosco. Chris Bauer, Michael Beach, Coby Bell, Nia Long, Kim Raver, Anthony Ruivivar and Skipp Sudduth also star.


"Old Enough to Fight"
CHRIS ISAAK GUESTS STARS AS ROY ORBISON, JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT RETURNS AS NANCY SINATRA WITH ALISON SWEENEY AND FARAH FATH ENTERTAINING IN THE USO, AS JOHN ANISTON AND FRANCES REID APPEAR IN PRYOR TV AND RADIO, AND TYLER HILTON AS A SINGER - After running away from home, Meg (Brittany Snow) decides she needs a new look and enlists Roxanne (Vanessa Lengies) for a makeover. A worried Helen (Gail O'Grady) finds Meg staying at Roxanne's, and asks her to return home, but her relationship with her parents continue to be strained until something drastic happens with her boyfriend. In addition to dealing with his problems at home, Jack (Tom Verica) realizes that he has some issues at work with Henry (Jonathan Adams), and makes a pivotal decision that will change the future of Pryor TV & Radio. On the other side of the world, JJ (Will Estes) and the troops are entertained by the USO, a much needed distraction as JJ struggles with the realities of war. Chris Isaak ("Let Me Down Easy," "The Chris Isaak Show") guest stars as Roy Orbison singing, "Pretty Woman." Jennifer Love Hewitt reprises her role as Nancy Sinatra with "These Boot Are Made for Walking", and "Sunny." NBC's "Days Of Our Lives" guest stars with Alison Sweeney as Miss USA, Farah Fath as a Playboy Bunny, John Aniston as a man seeking employment at Pryor TV & Radio, and Frances Reid as a woman watching the premiere episode of "Days Of Our Lives" in the store. Tyler Hilton guest stars as a singer singing the Beatles "I've Just Seen a Face." Rachel Boston, Ethan Dampf, Arlen Escarpeta, Sarah Ramos also star.

WHEN PHARMACEUTICAL EXEC IS FOUND DISMEMBERED, WILL COPS GIVE SLAYER FULL DOSE OF LEGAL MEDICINE? -- When a pharmaceutical executive is found cut in half in midtown, Detectives Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) and Eames (Kathryn Erbe) discover a greater crime when they learn that the victim was part of a scheme to ship tainted blood medications to Thailand for huge profits -- and the case takes a new spin when the sexual proclivity of one of the dead man's associates comes into question. The police probe deeper and pull the lid off a Pandora's box of craven corporate corruption in the competitive field of high-profit pharmaceuticals. Jamey Sheridan and Courtney B. Vance also star.


FEAR FACTOR � (8-9:30 p.m. ET)
90 MINUTES SEEMS 'EELY' LONG -- In a special 90-minute episode containing four stunts, highlights include contestants who bob in a tank filled with hundreds of moray eels and later bounce a speeding car up onto two wheels in an attempt to knock flags off of a truck. Joe Rogan hosts the series.

AVERAGE JOE: HAWAII � (9:30-11 p.m. ET)
"Episode #8"
IN A SPECIAL 90-MINUTE EPISODE, ONE SUITOR RESORTS TO SPY TACTICS WHILE ANOTHER ENJOYS AN EXOTIC DATE - While Larissa is romanced on luxurious dates including a country club getaway, a scenic helicopter ride to waterfalls, and a trip to botanical gardens in Hilo, she is unaware that she is about to face another twist. One of her private dates is not as private as she might think, as one 'average joe' has the opportunity to spy on an intimate moment with dramatic results.


WHOOPI � (8:30-9 p.m. ET)
"The Last Dance"
GUEST STAR PATRICK SWAYZE REUNITES WITH 'GHOST' STAR WHOOPI GOLDBERG AS FORMER CHOREOGRAPHER -- Patrick Swayze reunites with his Oscar-winning "Ghost" star Whoopi Goldberg when he portrays Mavis' (Goldberg) former choreographer from her days as a one-hit singing wonder who drops by her hotel and inspires her to resume their good times-loving relationship. However, her old friend has newfound religious convictions that Mavis intends to undermine. Omid Djalili, Wren T. Brown and Elizabeth Regen also star.

HAPPY FAMILY � (8:30-9 p.m. ET)
"Bye Bye Birdie"
POOR ERIC WASSERMAN -- Peter and Annie (John Larroquette and Christine Baranski) think today is the best day ever; Sara's (Melanie Paxson) bringing a date home to dinner and Tim announces he found a job. When Sara shows up with her date, Don (guest star Benjamin King, "Saving Jessica Lynch") and her pet bird, "Eric Wasserman," the mood suddenly shifts. Eric Wasserman flies in the face of fate when Don shows Peter a few tennis moves. Meanwhile, Tim's (Tyler Francavilla) new job as a sexy neighbor houseboy has him concerned that he may have a thing for older women, until Alex (Jaime Pressly, "Torque") shows him otherwise. Jeff B. Davis also stars.

FRASIER � (9-9:30 p.m. ET)
"Caught in the Act"
FRASIER NEEDS A NANNY; LAURIE METCALF GUEST STARS -- When Roz (Peri Gilpin) finds out that Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) was once married to child entertainer Nanny G (guest star Laurie Metcalf, "Roseanne"), she begs him to get tickets to the performer's sold out concert for her daughter Alice (Ashley Thomas). The tickets are granted and although Nanny G is remarried, Frasier and his ex-wife must fight off a physical attraction that still exists between them. John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, and David Hyde Pierce also star.

SCRUBS � (9:30-10 p.m. ET)
"My Screwup"
DR. COX IS ALL SMILES WHEN HIS EX-BROTHER-IN-LAW BEN RETURNS; CHRISTA MILLER LAWRENCE, TARA REID AND BRENDAN FRASER GUEST STAR -- Danni (guest star- Tara Reid) and Jordan's (guest star- Chrita Miller Lawerence) brother, Ben (guest star Brendan Fraser) returns from traveling the world, a trip he's been on since his leukemia went into remission. When Dr. Cox learns he hasn't seen a doctor since he left, he recruits J.D (Zach Braff) to do a thorough work up. Unfortunately, forcing J.D. to drop his other patients to run tests on Ben is a decision Dr. Cox soon regrets. Meanwhile, Elliot's (Sarah Chalke) concern about a bunion on her foot leads to the revelation that Carla (Judy Reyes) has been hiding something from Turk (Donald Faison). Ken Jenkins and Neil Flynn also star.

WHEN IT DOESN'T STOP AT NAME CALLING � When a teenage girl is murdered, Detectives Stabler (Christopher Meloni) and Benson (Mariska Hargitay) search for a suspect. However, when they discover their victim was a fearsome high school bully who enjoyed tormenting other girls, the detectives are left with a school full of suspects. Dann Florek, Richard Belzer, Ice-T and Diane Neal also star.


THE WEST WING � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"Full Disclosure"
WHITE HOUSE STUNNED BY FORMER VEEP'S EMBARRASSING ALLEGATIONS IN TELL-ALL BOOK -- TIM MATHESON AND JAY MOHR GUEST STAR -- The Bartlet administration reels from press leaks that ex-Vice President Hoynes (guest star Tim Matheson) is preparing a tell-all book that will embarrass the President (Martin Sheen) and Leo (John Spencer) as the Veep plans to make his own run for the White House. The news flash first stuns C.J. (Allison Janney) live on the air as she jousts with acerbic pundit Taylor Reid (guest star Jay Mohr, NBC's "The Last Comic Standing"). Elsewhere, while Josh (Bradley Whitford) welcomes Washington's mayor (guest star James Pickens, Jr., "The Lyon's Den") to the White House to discuss school vouchers, Josh also faces a political firestorm when Ryan (guest star Jesse Bradford) proposes closing a military base in a district belonging to a powerful Congressman. Toby (Richard Schiff) parleys with trade union bosses who get hung up over import safeguards for brassieres. Dule Hill, Janel Moloney and Joshua Malina also star.

LAW & ORDER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Can I Get a Witness?"
IT DOESN'T PAY TO DO THE RIGHT THING � When a low level drug dealer is gunned down in front of her friends, Detectives Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) and Green (Jesse L. Martin) depend on one of the witnesses to the murder to help find their suspect. However, when their star witness dies, A.D.A. Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston) vows to prosecute his killer. Elisabeth Rohm, Fred Thompson and S. Epatha Merkerson also star


FRIENDS � (8-8:30 p.m. ET)
"The One with Princess Consuela"
RACHEL GETS JOBBED WHILE PHOEBE GETS NEW I.D.; DAKOTA FANNING ('THE CAT IN THE HAT') GUEST-STARS -- Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) nearly gags when, she secretly meets for a job interview at a restaurant right next to the table where her current boss is dining while Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) considers legally changing her married name to something more exotic. Elsewhere, a distraught Joey (Matt LeBlanc) has abandonment issues when Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) attempt to buy a new house for their family and finds solace with the sellers' precocious, 8-year-old daughter (guest star Dakota Fanning, "The Cat in the Hat"). David Schwimmer also stars.

WILL & GRACE � (8:30-9 p.m. ET)
"Flip-Flop: Part One"
CAN'T FLIP A FLIPPER; JOHN CLEESE, MINNIE DRIVER AND EILEEN BRENNAN GUEST-STAR -- Dynamic enterprisers Will (Eric McCormack) and Grace (Debra Messing) begin a new business venture as they buy old apartments to refurbish and re-sell for a tidy profit. When budding "student nurse" Jack (Sean Hayes) bumps into his former acting mentor Zandra (guest star Eileen Brennan, "Private Benjamin"), the pair of entrepreneurs finds their first project apartment. Meanwhile, Karen (Megan Mullally) renews her romance with Lyle Finster (guest star John Cleese), but the couple's bliss is interrupted by an unfortunate houseguest when Lorraine (guest star Minnie Driver) moves in. Shelley Morison also stars.

THE APPRENTICE � (9-10 p.m. ET)
"Episode #8"

ER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Forgive and Forget"
PSYCHO PATIENT STEALS TANK TO WREAK HAVOC WHILE SAM IS JEALOUS OF DR. KOVAC'S FRENCH FRIEND -- A psychotic patient makes good on his promise to punish the medicos when he steals an Army tank and grinds his way across Chicago towards the hospital while Sam (Linda Cardellini) grows jealous of Dr. Kovac's (Goran Visnjic) visiting French friend Gillian -- and one of the E.R. staffers suffers a heart attack. Elsewhere, Kovac is startled at the lack of concern among some 13-year-olds who are diagnosed with chylamidia; Sam ponders the odd relationship between a concerned teenaged girl and her sick father who is in full cardiac arrest, and Dr. Corday (Alex Kingston) is enchanted with a charming fellow surgeon. Noah Wyle, Laura Innes, Maura Tierney, Ming-Na, Mekhi Phifer and Parminder Nagra also star.


THIRD WATCH � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Family Ties"
BOSCO SUSPICIOUSLY EYES SOBERED-UP BROTHER WHO OFFERS TIP IN DEADLY ECSTASY TURF WAR -- When Bosco's (Jason Wiles) trouble-prone brother professes to be drug-free yet offers him a tip on a murderous turf war between rival Ecstasy dealers, the officer teams with rehabilitated former partner Yokas (Molly Price) to bust up an operation fronted by an unlikely religious sect -- a major coup that irritates ambitious Officer Cruz (Tia Texada). Meanwhile, in the wake of the firehouse shooting, a psychiatrist (as Breen, guest star TBA) who interviews an uneasy Kim (Kim Raver) and Carlos (Anthony Ruivivar) for any lingering after-effects makes some startling evaluations. Coby Bell, Bonnie Dennison, Chris Bauer and Skipp Sudduth also star. Patti D'Arbanville guest-stars.


THE TRACY MORGAN SHOW � (8-8:30 p.m. ET)
"Super Boy"


FEAR FACTOR � (8-9 p.m. ET)
WOMEN WAR IN WATER -- This special episode consists entirely of female contestants whose challenges include both a water stunt requiring them to free themselves from a submerged tube in frigid water and a battle in a box with hundreds of snapping geckos and writhing pythons. Joe Rogan hosts the action-oriented series.

LAS VEGAS � (9-10 p.m. ET)

AVERAGE JOE: HAWAII � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Episode #9"
LARISSA MUST CHOSE BETWEEN THE LAST MEN STANDING TO WIN HER AFFECTION- In the dramatic season finale, Larissa visits the hometowns of each of the finalists to meet their friends and family before welcoming one of them into her heart as her final choice. Will it be the fairytale ending, or heartbreak for the 'average joe'?


WHOOPI � (8:30-9 p.m. ET)
"No Sex in the City"
MAVIS MAKES WHOOPIE WHEN HER FEMALE POSSE CELEBRATES IN TRENDY NIGHTCLUB -- Mavis (Whoopi Goldberg) dons a blonde wig and presides over her female posse during a wild bachelorette party at a trendy night club as they celebrate Soo Lin's (Mary Ann Hu) wedding and meet a wide variety of exotic patrons -- and as the bar bill adds up, the bride-to-be starts to have second thoughts. In another corner, designated driver Nasim (Omid Djalili) is mistaken as as Mavis' macho male escort and soon entertains offers of similar employment. Wren T. Brown also stars.

HAPPY FAMILY � (8:30-9 p.m. ET)
SARAH'S GOT A SECRET � Suddenly aware that their daughter is keeping something from them; Peter and Annie (John Larroquette and Christine Baranski) make the mistake of assuming Sarah's (Melanie Paxson) secret meetings with a woman means she's gay. However, the truth behind their clandestine meetings is much more than any parent could bear. Meanwhile, Todd (Jeff B. Davis) steals a beloved t-shirt of Tim's (Tyler Francavilla) and Alex (Jaime Pressly, "Torque") incites revenge, prompting Tim to break into his brother's apartment -- but Todd's prize possession -- a photo of a naked woman -- is a secret that is best kept hidden.

FRASIER � (9-9:30 p.m. ET)
CLOWNING AROUND -- WENDIE MALICK ("JUST SHOOT ME") GUEST STARS -- Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) dons a clown costume to cure a clown-a-phobic patient (guest star Stephanie Faracy), but he ends up frightening Martin (John Mahoney) and causing him to have a "mild cardiac event." This health crisis leads Martin to re-evaluate his relationship with his girlfriend Ronee (guest star Wendie Malick, "JUST SHOOT ME"). David Hyde Pierce, Peri Gilpin and Jane Leeves also star.

SCRUBS � (9:30-10 p.m. ET)
"My Tormented Mentor"

CCH POWDER & JULIE HAGERTY GUEST STAR � When a child dies in the emergency room after allegedly passing out at a late night church, Detectives Tutuola (Ice T.) and Munch (Richard Belzer) discover the prayer vigil was held to extract the devil from the victim. However, when forensics uncovers the child was smothered to death prior to attending the service, Fin believes the death to the result of prolong child abuse and not faith healing. CCH Pounder ("The Shield") guest stars as the distraught foster mother of the slain child and Julie Hagerty ("Airplane!") portrays social worker Mariel Plummer. Dann Florek and Diane Neal also star.


THE WEST WING � (9-10 p.m. ET)

LAW & ORDER � (10-11 p.m. ET)
"Hands Free"

  [february 2004]  

· ED (NBC)
· ER (NBC)

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