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"CSI: NY" CELEBRATES 100 EPISODES WITH A LIST OF 100 CLASSIC NEW YORK ONE-LINERS FROM THE PAST FIVE SEASONS
100th Episode Airs Wednesday, Nov. 19 on the CBS Television Network
As CSI: NY celebrates 100 episodes; it's time to look back at 100 of the best one-liners from the past five seasons of CSI: NY. As they say, "Only in New York!" The 100th episode of CSI: NY airs Wednesday, Nov. 19 (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
"Did I hear somebody say fume? Then I'm your man." (Danny, Season 1, Pilot)
"I recognize those get away sticks." (Stella, Season 1, Pilot)
"Renee. Junior inherits half a billion and his dad's mistress. That's the stuff New York legends are made of." (Mac, Season 1, Pilot)
"My kit is fully stocked. Bring it." (Aiden, Season 1, Episode 1)
"Post mortem bites on the face, arms, and were the appetizers. The gunshot wound was the main course." (Hawkes, Season 1, Episode 3)
"I prefer crunk myself." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 5)
"Well forgive me if I allow your status as a multiple felon to color my opinion of you." (Flack, Season 1, Episode 5)
"Trust me, you are going to get plenty of love where you are going." (Flack, Season 1, Episode 6)
"If these people wanna see a show, tell them to go get tickets to RENT, OK?" (Mac, Season 1, Episode 7)
"Apart from the fact of it not being attached to a person, there's nothing wrong with this finger." (Hawkes, Season 1, Episode 7)
"GOOEY? There's a good forensic word." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 8)
"Down here we call it a JAMES BROWN. It's funky." (Hawkes, Season 1, Episode 11)
"Those are no canine's canines." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 12)
"Usually when you stab somebody, you know the guy's name. It's common courtesy." (Carmine, Season 1, Episode 12)
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." (Stella, Season 1, Episode 12)
"Two dead doves, one dead bride. Looks like foul play to me." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 15)
"You two want to be alone? I'll drag the body outside." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 15)
"I'm gonna call Hawkes." (Stella) "Tell him to bring a spatula." (Mac, Season 2, Episode 16)
"What are you, a scientist or a massage therapist?" (Aiden, Season 1, Episode 16)
"Yeah, traffic was murder." (Danny, Season 1, Episode 16)
"Unfortunately for gangs, they can't intimidate evidence." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 17)
"Either way, it's a pain in my gluteus maximus." (Hawkes, Season 1, Episode 17)
"Alright, I'll be back with a subpoena and a muzzle." (Flack, Season 1, Episode 18)
"I love the smell of cover up in the afternoon. Don't you?" (Flack, Season 1, Episode 19)
"There was a time I wanted to be a sculptor." (Hawkes, Season 1, Episode 21)
"No shoes, no coat, no handbag. Just lace." (Mac, Season 1, Episode 21)
"Boston fan in the Bronx, that's brave." (Stella, Season 1, Episode 21)
"Let's track the cracker jacks. Where there's spit, there's DNA." (Stella, Season 1, Episode 21)
"A dead guy in a rhinestone bra." (Danny, Season 1, Episode 1)
"Which one of those trees needs Viagra?" (Danny, Season 2, Episode 2)
"Did you know, rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez's ass is insured for one billion dollars?" (Hawkes, Season 2, Episode 2)
"She may look like Cinderella, but the shoe doesn't fit." (Stella, Season 2, Episode 3)
"Well, I'm done eating bacon for life." (Lindsay, Season 2, Episode 3)
"The bullets are lining up like the Rockettes at Christmas." (Stella, Season 2, Episode 7)
"What? You don't recognize him with half his face blown off?" (Flack, Season 2, Episode 8)
"We usually don't let a realtor show a place until we get the stink of death out of the carpeting." (Flack, Season 2, Episode 9)
"You can take the girl out of high school, but you can't take the scars of high school out of the girl." (Stella, Season 2, Episode 10)
"Hey crimestopper. Run to Ray's, grab me a slice, extra pepperoni, right? Bring it back. Just fold it up, slide it right through the hole." (Danny) "That's no way to treat good pizza, Messer." (Flack, Season 2, Episode 11)
"In a mansion like that, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue?" (Stella, Season 2, Episode 11)
"Well, that's not surprising. Every self-respecting supermodel suffers from malnutrition." (Hawkes, Season 2, Episode 12)
"I've slept with a lot of women. Some wild, some crazy. Some both." (Flack, Season 12, Episode 14)
"Wanna go see Rough Sects?" (Danny, Season 2, Episode 14)
"Unless someone RSVP'd as murderer, how do we know who's important?" (Hawkes, Season 2, Episode 14)
"Either that's a super concentrated marinara..." (Hawkes) "Or the victim has a vial of blood in her freezer." (Lindsay, Season 2, Episode 17)
"We'll work something out. Would these eyes lie?" (Flack, Season 2, Episode 18)
"When you were a kid, did you ever tie a towel around your neck and pretend you were a super hero? Little Mac Man maybe?" (Stella, Season 2, Episode 19)
"The glass that Dr. Hawkes pulled from our John Doe... it tested positive for Krypton." (Adam, Season 2, Episode 19)
"I get my BVDs in a three-pack for 10 bucks. Boom." (Danny, Season 2, Episode 20)
"Hey boxer shorts, cold shower's this way. Let's go." (Flack, Season 2, Episode 20)
"Do you know how many guilty people sang the same song?" (Mac, Season 2, Episode 21)
"Yeah. A mermaid. Why not?" (Mac, Season 2, Episode 22)
"Tequila and acid. Your vic had quite the evening." (Sid, Season 3, Episode 1)
"Danny, you've been staring at the same piece of glass for five minutes. You want me to bag it for you, or are you waiting for it to turn back to sand?" (Lindsay, Season 3, Episode 2)
"Breakfast at Tiffany's. Except I don't get it. I don't remember Holly Golightly ever robbing a jewelry store." (Lindsay, Season 3, Episode 2)
"She was stabbed with an icicle?" (Lindsay) "That's cold." (Danny, Season 3, Episode 3)
Well, as a certified medical examiner, I can tell you with a degree of certainty that this guy was definitely not pecked to death by a peacock. (Sid, Season 3, Episode 4)
"College tuition: $40,000. Room and Board: $10,000. Puking and passing out on your parents' dime: Priceless." (Sid, Season 3, Episode 4)
"Is this guy going all "Da Vinci Code" on us?" (Danny, Season 3, Episode 4)
"Do you, Stella, take Veronica as a crazy with a motive?" (Flack, Season 3, Episode 7)
"Get outta here. You gotta have a Master's degree in Chemistry just to run drugs these days." (Flack, Season 3, Episode 7)
"So we've got two unanswered questions: the hair and the whiskey. I say we hit the bottle first." (Stella, Season 3, Episode 10)
"OK, set the lights at a lower angle. I have a date with an unconscious snake." (Hawkes, Season 3, Episode 10)
"Why don't we step outside Grandpa and I'll show you what kind of geek I am." (Danny, Season 3, Episode 11)
"So our murder is a one-legged barefoot woman who's got serious kung-fu skills." (Danny, Season 3, Episode 11)
"Stop shivering like a girl, Adam. It's not even that cold out here." (Danny) "I'm from Phoenix. 85 degrees is considered freezing." (Adam, Season 3, Episode 13)
"I usually wash my hands in the sink, not the toilet." (Flack, Season 3, Episode 14)
"It's gonna take more than a secret handshake to protect you in jail." (Flack, Season 3, Episode 15)
"My dinner date dumped me for a dead body." (Mac, Season 3, Episode 16)
"Okay, let's just say it now to get it over with: smoking kills." (Stella, Season 3, Episode 17)
"A woman says she saw, what she claims was, a giant cigarette on fire, running for its life." (Stella, Season 3, Episode 17)
"I was right, it's a loogie." (Adam, Season 3, Episode 17)
"Are you lighting your arm on fire in the name of science?" (Danny, Season 3, Episode 18)
"Nothing like murder to increase your profit margin." (Mac, Season 3, Episode 18)
"You think Danny calls me Montana because I'm a 49er's fan?" (Lindsay, Season 3, Episode 18)
"When mind, body and spirit come together, anything is possible. Even murder!" (Mac, Season 3, Episode 18)
"My favorite kind of wine is beer." (Danny, Season 3, Episode 19)
"I mean, isn't the cockroach kind of the unofficial mascot of New York?" (Lindsay, Season 3, Episode 19)
"It's not illegal to be a sociopath." (Stella, Season 3, Episode 19)
"You can practice your hibernation skills in jail, 'cause that's where you're going." (Mac, Season 3, Episode 20)
"Contests aren't against the law. Neither is stupidity or bad judgment." (Mac, Season 3, Episode 22)
"I will make it my personal mission to hunt down who you protect. It's only been what, 24 hours since you murdered your boss? Congratulations on the shortest reign in criminal history!" (Mac, Season 3, Episode 24)
"Welcome to the home of the free and the land of the depraved." (Flack, Season 4, Episode 1)
"Speed Racer's Mach 5 does not come close to the Batmobile. End of story." (Danny, Season 4, Episode 3)
"In theory, if you built a machine that could travel the speed of light away from here, then slowed down, turned around and flew home just as fast, when you got back, a trip that might have lasted just seconds for you, could've been weeks for everybody else. (Danny) "Kinda like your explanation." (Mac, Season 4, Episode 4)
"Happy Halloweird Mac" (Flack, Season 4, Episode 6)
"A striking visual, the sight of those knives in this young man's back. So many metaphors, so little time." (Sid, Season 4, Episode 7)
"Our vic's body couldn't help but remind me of my Great Uncle Andy." (Sid, Season 4, Episode 8)
"Bet when you hired me you never knew about my baking skills." (Danny, Season 4, Episode 8)
"Neighbors were very helpful. They saw nothing, heard nothing, and know nothing. Welcome to my life." (Flack, Season 4, Episode 9)
"As M.E., I can state she's not only merely dead. She's really most sincerely dead." (Sid, Season 4, Episode 12)
"A fairy, Wendy in a nightgown... killed by a sharp curved instrument. Makes one wonder if you shouldn't be looking for Captain Hook." (Sid, Season 4, Episode 12)
"What is this? Dancing with the scientists?" (Mac, Season 4, Episode 12)
"Movie and a murder, hell of a double feature." (Mac, Season 4, Episode 13)
"Fire came to the firemen - it's gotta be a first." (Danny, Season 4, Episode 14)
"Going out in a public toilet, gotta say its pretty low on my list." (Flack, Season 4, Episode 14)
(to Danny) "Nothing says you're special like a centrifuge tube filled with DNA samples." (Lindsay, Season 4, Episode 15)
"Actually, since I shot my boyfriend two years ago, I don't exactly have people over." (Stella, Season 4, Episode 16)
"What kind of shark strangles his meal before he takes a bite?" (Flack, Season 4, Episode 17)
"If the students didn't see anything, maybe their cell phones did." (Stella, Season 4, Episode 18)
"Ready for some heavy metal 101?" (Adam, Season 5, Episode 2)
On the Web: www.cbs.com/primetime/csi_ny/
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